This is Lizzie-Boy! Lizzie-Boy is my bud and in this photo enjoying her tea on the Coolest Riverboat Café we have ever visited in our lives for Breakfast…in Lincoln! Big Respect to our waitress Christine who’s kindness and dutiful attention (to us and our full English Fry Ups) could not be out shone by any Café Running Captain in all the seven seas…or rivers. I’m going to describe things about Christine’s Café that some would interpret as flaws and massive discomforts, but honest to goodness for every tiny thing that wasn’t perfect about this boat, only made Mine and Lizzie’s experience a marvellous thing to remember and a setting we wish to make many more memories at.
Today I visited my girl Lizzie in her hometown of Lincoln for some well craved Breakfast this morning. So Lizz tells me a tale of a boat and sail and a Cook, kind of Captain of things, to who, Lizz and me, maybe, ’cause we were hungry ladies, will greet us and treat us like kings…she didn’t actually rhyme when she told me about this café on the River Witham, but the jist was she’d walked past it a bunch of times and had always been curious and never gone in. So today we did.
The boat was a freezing clutter fest! Pictures, knick-knacks, ornaments galore and clashing in everyway possible. We were the only ones in the boat at first, but come half an hour into our breakfast the boat was heaving with regulars from the town, and we totally get why, and if you visit so will you. We sat middle way between the door and the counter and observed the various Slate Chicken Shaped Menus and hilarious joke boards about fishing. Being the proud pig-out monsters that Lizzie and I are, we instantly wanted the Big Fry Up each, but Christine’s wise words steered us towards the modest middle sized versions which came with – 3 slices of toast, beans, mushrooms, hash browns, sausages, tomatoes, bacon, fried eggs and two large pots of tea…If anyone ever needs proof of heaven…Christine is selling it all for under a tenner on the Moonraker Floating Tearoom on the River Witham.
The heating was off, and there was no radio, but Lizzie and I were all wrapped up in our winter woollies and nuzzled into the seat cushions. As for music, we were in luck, for there was an army of water fowl right outside our window doing a re-enactment of pearl harbour alongside the distant accordion song of a street performer. Women, Wine and Music, that was us at 10:30 this morning, minus the women, the wine, and technically music, we were treated like kings. We nattered and noshed for what felt like forever, the food took us home to our own mamas tables, all flavour and no finesse, and that is what you want for breakfast!
So what it wasn’t all Starbucks Granola with Soya Milk served on Silver Back Gorillas who specialise in Silver Service, it was great, we were really taken care of by Real Honest People and had a Real Good English Breakfast. You could tell that Christine took great, and well deserved pride in her ship which I felt played a great part in the jolly atmosphere; the boat rocked when we ate, and our food was all at different temperatures (all edible don’t worry), our pots of tea went on forever, my chair was backless so I went back to back with an old man who clearly thought I was the back of the chair and the whole package was a brilliant way to begin our day.
If you go to Lincoln, you can’t miss her, so don’t. Rating out of 5 = 4.